Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Self Help or Help Yourself?

At the prime (mid-life) of life, I have read plenty of self help books - haven't we all?  I'm pretty sure this is the largest genre of books on the market.  And the other day I thought to myself, as I was listening to one of the many "self-help" books I own... how many times do we need to help ourselves, and instead we pick up another book aimed at self-help, read it, listen to it, and do nothing to follow through with it?

For me, that had changed a long time ago - I gave up searching for the book that was going to hold me by the hand and give me step by step directions on how to live my life.  Instead, I listen to the books, read the books, and LIVE MY LIFE.  I trust that my heart knows what it's doing, and that my head will keep me from getting into too much trouble.  Sometimes I feel like a walking affirmation.  My approach to life is simple - I love who I love, I make no excuses for my choices, they are after all my choices.  And I live my life to please myself.  If I end up pleasing others in the process, all is well.
I have learned which battles I am willing to fight, and which ones are worth the struggle.  I have learned to tell myself no, and to discipline myself.  I have learned over the course of my life that the only person I can truly count on is ME.  I am the only one who is living this life... those who I love and share my life with are living their own lives and are not accountable for my actions any more than I am accountable for theirs.  I stopped being in relationships with people that I wanted to FIX and with people who wanted to FIX ME - I am not a Coldplay song - I march to the beat of my own heart's rhythm - as we all should.

Since this transformation has taken all of my life, I can't say that there is an easy fix to living the life that you desire to live, except to just live it - one day at a time.  Rise up to the challenges set before you - be honest with yourself, be honest with those that you include in your life.  Love yourself, and make sure that the love you give is unconditional - meaning; it's OK to make mistakes, it's OK to not be perfect - no one really expects you to, so why do you expect this of yourself?  Life is what we make of it, and we attract like minded people into ours.

I am blessed with many diverse friends in my life - in fact - I was recently asked, "Who DON'T you know?"... a very good question.  I am open to the world - I joyful greet new people, smile and talk to them... this is how I know if I want to nurture those relationships into something more, or if I just want to have the experience of meeting that someone.  I acknowledge that every day is a gift worth receiving, and I embrace that gift fully.

Do I have bad days?  Of course!  No one can be sunshine and light every moment of every day - but those dark moods remind me to take stock of the things I am grateful for.  And then I realize that I am helping myself!

Help Yourself!  Nurture yourself, Love yourself, Be Patient with yourself, remember that if you aren't doing it for yourself, no one can do it for you.


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Finding Acceptance

Life is never easy all the time, and it's the ups and downs of life that make it worth living.  We learn from both ends of the spectrum, though we hope to fall in the middle most often - or at least, I hope to fall in the middle most often.  Feeling safe and settled, content with myself and my life are all I hope for.

But in my darker days of being a young single mother, being overweight, looking for the right love, and trying to pay my bills, etc. etc.. you know what I'm talking about... I struggled; like we all do.  And I am a person who loves music.  I love all different types of music... gospel, country, rock, alternative, rap, hip-hop, metal, folk, opera, big band, new age, etc.  There isn't a genre that I can't find at least one song in that makes me smile.  So I create a soundtrack of my life - there's almost always a song running through my head... and before I get too off the topic; those dark days, I found a song that became my theme song for many years, and my mantra still.

I am blessed to personally know the amazing woman who wrote and performs the song.  In a way that makes it even more special.

In the immortal words of Ms. Jenna Greene; "you need to find acceptance in yourself".  And a truer statement has rarely been made.  When I was in my stage of "becoming" who I am - in the pagan community, in my business, and in my heart - The song "Acceptance" really struck a cord with me.  It still brings me close to tears when I think about how we often see ourselves; not through the eyes of those who love us, rather, through the eyes of those who judge us.

I am very pleased to share this with you - because I see myself more often than not through the eyes of those who love me, and I very rarely feel judged....

I hope that you will give the song a little listen, and embrace the lyrics... find your theme song and carry on living the amazing life that you deserve!

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Unconditional Love

There are so many things a person can say about love.  And there is no easy way to define it.  A mother's love; a father's love... a romantic love, and friendship love, the love for your pet, self love... the list goes on and on.  But here's what I know for sure.

Love is meant to be given and received unconditionally.  And unconditionally certainly needs no additional defining... does it?

Every man I have ever fall in love with, and spoken the words "I love you" to, I still love today.  Our relationships may have not worked out over time, some changed into beautiful friendships, and some... well we no longer speak to each other.  But I love them all the same.  Not with the same depth or passion that I once did when in the throes of those relationships; but I feel their joys and pains (when I know of them), and I think of them and wish them well.

My child - I love him unconditionally... there are absolutely no conditions on it.  No matter how many times I ask him to do something for me and he doesn't do it, or how many times I wonder what goes on in his head.  No matter how many decisions he makes that I don't agree with, I still love him.. with every fiber of my being.  There is a bond there that will never be severed.

My friends, co-workers, family, pets... students, clients, etc etc.  I love you all.  I don't put conditions on the love I feel - I just let it be love.  Though my dad once told me that a person could not survive on love alone, these days, I wonder at that.  I am at my happiest when I feel love for others, when I feel loved by others.  On my worst day, if only one person sends me a text, an email, or reaches out to me to say that they care about me, my day turns around 100% and I am filled with joy.

So when I listen to arguments, including the ones that I have... it makes me wonder, how to better express love?  When I am cut off on the highway, when we are all late to work, and I want to express something much different than love... I remember that they are in the same situation that I am in; desperate to get somewhere that they may not really want to go, it's Monday (Tuesday, Wednesday, etc...) They are going to be late for a meeting... they have to find a bathroom really quickly!  I honestly don't know what is going on with them, but I know that I have to share the road with them, and therefore, I should show them a little road-love... let them go on their merry way, put no conditions on it - (you better let me in next time we are fighting to merge into one toll lane)... I wish them well, and hope that they arrive at their destination... it takes  A LOT sometimes to send them that love... but somehow, I always feel peace restored in my own car, and my own soul when I am able to do it.

Now, with all the hatred in the world, and all the craziness and violence, shouldn't we send a little more unconditional love around the world?

Freedom is not free, it never has been... but LOVE is.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Finding Stillness

Recently, I have been ill - physically in a lot of pain.  I have been tested for Lyme disease (negative) and for Rheumatoid Arthritis (negative), my CBC also came back normal... and yet, I am in pain... I struggle around like a little old lady... but I have a huge challenge in sitting still.

You see; I am a busy person.  My mind is busy, and my busy mind creates a busy body.  While I am able to meditate, this is not a skill that I can snap on to quiet my mind when my body is in pain.  It is a skill that I will need to learn as I get older I suspect.

The hobbies that I have to quiet my mind all involve keeping my hands busy and occupied; knitting, crocheting, journaling, writing letters... and my hands are in part what is hurting in the body... HMMM.

I am on the move, mentally, looking to find ways that I can quiet my mind without moving my body and achieve the greater stillness required for healing.

What are some tips that you have to this endeavor?  I look forward to hearing from you.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

My Favorite Tarot!

I am a collector of Tarot decks - I have MANY... and each one speaks to me with it's own unique voice.... but there is one deck above them all that has my heart - over the years it has become my best friend and has shared the most intimate secrets with me so that I am able to help you achieve your success.

I love this deck so much that I have 7 iterations of it, and one of them I purchased in Hong Kong! It has traveled the world with me!

I'm not naming names, but if you look back over many of my witch pictures, you will be able to see my little buddies in quite a few of them. I hope to be able to use them in the book that I have been writing about the Tarot (of course I have been writing it slowly, because I had hoped to be publishing it long before now!) But they were the cards that told me I was supposed to write the book in the first place!

I would really appreciate hearing about your experience with the Tarot - do you have a favorite deck? A favorite card?

I hope you will join me on this Tarot Adventure!