Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Self Help or Help Yourself?

At the prime (mid-life) of life, I have read plenty of self help books - haven't we all?  I'm pretty sure this is the largest genre of books on the market.  And the other day I thought to myself, as I was listening to one of the many "self-help" books I own... how many times do we need to help ourselves, and instead we pick up another book aimed at self-help, read it, listen to it, and do nothing to follow through with it?

For me, that had changed a long time ago - I gave up searching for the book that was going to hold me by the hand and give me step by step directions on how to live my life.  Instead, I listen to the books, read the books, and LIVE MY LIFE.  I trust that my heart knows what it's doing, and that my head will keep me from getting into too much trouble.  Sometimes I feel like a walking affirmation.  My approach to life is simple - I love who I love, I make no excuses for my choices, they are after all my choices.  And I live my life to please myself.  If I end up pleasing others in the process, all is well.
I have learned which battles I am willing to fight, and which ones are worth the struggle.  I have learned to tell myself no, and to discipline myself.  I have learned over the course of my life that the only person I can truly count on is ME.  I am the only one who is living this life... those who I love and share my life with are living their own lives and are not accountable for my actions any more than I am accountable for theirs.  I stopped being in relationships with people that I wanted to FIX and with people who wanted to FIX ME - I am not a Coldplay song - I march to the beat of my own heart's rhythm - as we all should.

Since this transformation has taken all of my life, I can't say that there is an easy fix to living the life that you desire to live, except to just live it - one day at a time.  Rise up to the challenges set before you - be honest with yourself, be honest with those that you include in your life.  Love yourself, and make sure that the love you give is unconditional - meaning; it's OK to make mistakes, it's OK to not be perfect - no one really expects you to, so why do you expect this of yourself?  Life is what we make of it, and we attract like minded people into ours.

I am blessed with many diverse friends in my life - in fact - I was recently asked, "Who DON'T you know?"... a very good question.  I am open to the world - I joyful greet new people, smile and talk to them... this is how I know if I want to nurture those relationships into something more, or if I just want to have the experience of meeting that someone.  I acknowledge that every day is a gift worth receiving, and I embrace that gift fully.

Do I have bad days?  Of course!  No one can be sunshine and light every moment of every day - but those dark moods remind me to take stock of the things I am grateful for.  And then I realize that I am helping myself!

Help Yourself!  Nurture yourself, Love yourself, Be Patient with yourself, remember that if you aren't doing it for yourself, no one can do it for you.